Saturday, February 22, 2014

DatingDionne101 #6 How to Deal With a Break Up

So anyway, now that Valentine’s Day is long gone and out of our memory.  I wanted to talk about relationships without it being convoluted with this darn finicky holiday.



Ok so sometimes, we find ourselves in what is now come to be known as “situation-ships.”  It’s like you’re together, but you’re not together.  You can date other people but if they do you’ll be mad.  He’s not your boyfriend on Mondays and Wednesdays but he is on Tuesday and Thursdays.  Whatever, I just can’t.  It’s a joke and it is foolishness and I blame Love and Hip-hop.  (Which I blame most things on that are messed up in society.)  If you find yourself in one of these type of hook -ups and you don’t like it, honestly is no one else’s fault but your own.  If you set out to date and desire an honest and committed relationship, well then you have to let your wants be known from the BEGINNING.  Not after the 5th date, not after you’ve slept together, not after you’ve went on your first vacation, but in the beginning.  Now I’m not anywhere near a relationship expert, but I do know no matter what your relationship was, whether you were fully committed or just “dealing with each other,” doesn’t mean it hurts any less once it’s over.


Do you remember that Dru Hill song “What do I do with the love?”  Even when you no longer want the person in your life anymore, you probably still miss them…or the idea of them.  You may still have these feelings and no idea what to do with them.  Also as cliché as it sounds, honestly the only real way to get over heartache is time.  Time does heal all wounds…physically, mentally and emotionally.  Remember that guy that broke your heart and didn’t ask you to the dance in the 8th grade?  Yeah exactly me neither.  Like I said I am no relationship expert but here are a few tips I would like to share on how to deal with a break up.
                                                                   
Tip #1- You got an iPod right? You may even have a pair of those fancy Beats by Dre head phones; even if you have an old school CD player (omg I can’t believe that's considered old school now but lemme get back to the point) listen to some upbeat music.  I say nix the sappy sad love songs or the ones bashing the opposite sex.  K. Michelle is my girl but her music will have you crying your eyes out (here I go again referring to Love and Hip Hop).  I love top 40’s music.  If you’re into pop or alternative anything that will get you dancing and your blood flowing.  If you weren’t aware but moving your body or any kind of exercise will produce endorphins, which will physically make you feel better (there goes my health science degree being put to good use) so dance, even if you’re not good at it, and sing your heart out. (This is a good song suggestion)

Photo: lolsnaps.com

Tip #2- What was that I said about crying your eyes out?  Let me back track because you probably should give this a chance.  You’re human and you’re going to feel hurt.  No matter how tough or cool you are.  I suggest you take a little quiet time to yourself.  Maybe find some solace in your room or your car and let out a good cry.  Wipe your tears, fix yourself up and carry on.

Tip #3- Try to recall all the annoying things he used to do.  The things that weren’t necessarily relationship deal breakers but they got on your goddamn nerves.  I had an ex that was always late and I would always have to wait on him to get ready.  During the time of our relationship I let it rock, but once we broke up I dwelled on it.  I wrote it down along with a list of other things that I couldn’t stand about him.  Any time I started to “miss him” I would refer to the list and get so pissed off at him again that I never felt the urge to call to reconcile.

Tip #4- I love to laugh.  If you can’t tell that by the nature of some of my posts, I really can’t help you.  Laughing is good for the soul.  Hulu or Netflix is your BFF during this time.  Go and watch ever season of The Big Bang Theory or The Mindy Project.  Even if you only laugh and feel better in those 30 minute segments while the show is playing, it’s just better than sitting around being sad and thinking about this fool.


Photo: naturalhealthyconcepts.com

Here are a few mini tips:

-Don’t rush to meet or date anyone new, don’t hit up anybody up from the past with the “hey stranger” text. Don’t be that person.

-Go back to doing the things you like to do.  I like to write. So here I am writing.

-Get the HELL off his IG, FB or Twitter.  Trust me there’s nothing there for you and nothing to see.  As matter fact go to your own social media pages and delete, delete, delete.  It may seem petty (shout out to #Teampetty) but oh well who care it’s for your own peace of mind.


-Don’t let your heartache affect work or school.  If you have trouble falling asleep, try getting in the bed earlier and watch something boring.  You don’t want to be unemployed, failing all your classes and be single now do you?

-Lastly, if you really feel like you can’t get over the person, like if it’s been months or worse, years.  Speak to someone, preferably a professional.

Hope this helps.  As always, thank you for reading.  Please like, share, Pin or Tweet.  Also find me NOT stalking my ex @4everYoungMsD @YoungEqualsForever


Do you have any tips on how you deal with a break up?  Do share