Wednesday, February 1, 2017

5 Tips to Getting the Relationship YOU want

Ready or Not (...here I come, you can't hide, gonna find you and make you want me)


Hey Young Loves, this past Sunday I went to a relationship workshop.  I was scrolling through one of my favorite websites meetup.com.  I went to my notifications and RSVP’d.  The workshop was held by two relationship experts and the blurb describing the event went something like this:

“Get the relationship you want in 2017! Without fail, by the end of every meet up we end up talking relationships. So, by popular demand we're finally doing a deep dive into challenging world of relationships. Relationship Guru, Jinelle will lead a frank and open discussion on relationship obstacles, strategies and goals in a completely relaxed, judgement-free environment. While this workshop is targeted to single ladies -- married or divorced members are welcome for the knowledge and experience they can impart to other members. Come prepared to ask questions, seek guidance and/or share helpful advice.”

It was very informative and the information that resonated with me the most I took notes on.


Do you personally know anyone in a successful relationship/marriage?
I thought this was important because some people may not necessarily come from the typical two parent family.  They may have never seen their mom or dad in a successful relationship.  Therefore this may have had a deep impact on how to navigate the dating scene and form their own romantic relationships.


Be Crystal Clear about what you want!
Sometimes I read blogs or advice columns and someone will write in stating “I’m afraid to ask the guy I’m seeing to take a STD test with me because I don’t want to offend him.”  I personally cannot for the life of me understand, how are you able to be comfortable enough to sleep with someone but not be comfortable enough to ask them to take a STD test with you.  However, that’s not really the point.  The post is that women are sometimes afraid to ask for what they want or NEED for fear of rejection or not receiving it.  So be crystal clear in conveying what you need, because no one is a mind readers.


Get Ready!
You have the education, the job, your own place, your own car, you can cook, clean and you’re finically responsible.  However, we learned about emotional maturity.  I’m sure it’s easy to deduct what this means but for the sake of minimizing confusion, I hit the Google.  Emotional maturity refers to one’s ability to understand and manage, your emotions.  Let’s get deeper ok.  “An emotionally mature person has experienced the spectrum of emotions, understands the consequences of each, and knows the benefits of being in control of them.”  But guess what?  There are levels to this ish and it’s a continual life practice.  When a person applies this then they will be ready to enter and maintain a successful relationship.


Relationships Are a Decision.
This was one of my favorite part of the workshop.  I cannot stand these memes or internet relationship gurus that only give advice to women or teach women how to get “picked.”  On the other hand, a man can be as nice and he wants to be, but if she’s not interested she not interested.  The decision to be in a relationship is mutual.


Make Room!
During the workshop, they gave the example of a woman who worked 60 hours a week and was busy all the time.  A lot of the other attendees suggested that she would need to cut down her working hours….eh this was the part of the workshop I struggled with.  I understand you have to make time for what you want.  However, cutting down your work hours can drastically hinder your current life style.  Ofcourse there are other ways you need to make room for your relationship such as clearing out baggage form past relationships or getting rid of exes who are still it the picture.

By the end of the day I learned a lot and it was nice to sit and have dialogue with all these beautiful black women from different walks of life.  

What kind of things do you think a person needs to be ready for a successful relationship?

Thanks for reading
Get emotionally mature with me:

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